a cheers to life and it's unexpected twists and turns.
so this blogspot/xanga bullshit i've been on for years, was somewhat a form of expressing myself to my friends, random strangers, and just re reading entry after entry, thinking to myself "what the fuck was i thinking back then?"
and then another reason to this was because i had nights or let me rephrase that, my insomnia mornings, where all i really wanted to do was vent.
in the past 2 months i've done nothing but vent to people, mostly my close homegirls, and i've vented, and vented, and cried, and had sleepless nights because the struggles i've had with my heart, well i'm still struggling, but i'm keeping my heart and mind busy. thank goodness for full time jobs, yes, i have a full time job now, for the past 8 months i was at home bitching and whinning about not working, and now that i am, i'm bitching and whinning about being tired, but it pays the bills, and then some. within those 8 months, 4 months of it belonged to something different, it was something that felt nice. the only person that can make me feel a world of emotions all at the same time =/
i've hit a few bumps on the road, actually a handful of bumps, whether it be personal or financial, but i've managed to keep a straight face, most of the time. *secrets out, i hide it very very well =/ i think thats why im extremely fascinated with listening to others talk about what's going on with their lives, rather than paying attention to my own.
i'm turning 23, on the 24th of february, i want to be done already. i want to manage my time wisely, i want to be able to feel comfortable in my own skin. i want to explore the world, my way. i want someone to feel the love i have to give. (queenz, if i stole that from you, i'm sorry). i want knowledge beyond belief, i also want to read more books, mostly i just want everything that'll make me happy in some shape or form.
*this being done stuff, it's going to be a long road ahead, but i'll find my way there, no ones going to stop me, and no ones going to tell me otherwise, i know what i'm getting myself into, so please just let me be, this is in regard to school.
i'm not sure why i'm even doing this entry, i've read a couple random peoples blogspots, and they've all pretty much talk about they're thoughts and concerns, and i'm here reading what i wrote, and its mostly about me, to the readers out there, maybe i will find something juicy to write about? maybe when i'm on my lit tip. who knows? until then...
"let me be the one who can take you from all the things you see, and if you trust in me, i can be that through anything you need, and give it all to me baby, dont run from me baby"