cheers to you.

a cheers to life and it's unexpected twists and turns.

so this blogspot/xanga bullshit i've been on for years, was somewhat a form of expressing myself to my friends, random strangers, and just re reading entry after entry, thinking to myself "what the fuck was i thinking back then?"
and then another reason to this was because i had nights or let me rephrase that, my insomnia mornings, where all i really wanted to do was vent.

in the past 2 months i've done nothing but vent to people, mostly my close homegirls, and i've vented, and vented, and cried, and had sleepless nights because the struggles i've had with my heart, well i'm still struggling, but i'm keeping my heart and mind busy. thank goodness for full time jobs, yes, i have a full time job now, for the past 8 months i was at home bitching and whinning about not working, and now that i am, i'm bitching and whinning about being tired, but it pays the bills, and then some. within those 8 months, 4 months of it belonged to something different, it was something that felt nice. the only person that can make me feel a world of emotions all at the same time =/

i've hit a few bumps on the road, actually a handful of bumps, whether it be personal or financial, but i've managed to keep a straight face, most of the time. *secrets out, i hide it very very well =/ i think thats why im extremely fascinated with listening to others talk about what's going on with their lives, rather than paying attention to my own.

i'm turning 23, on the 24th of february, i want to be done already. i want to manage my time wisely, i want to be able to feel comfortable in my own skin. i want to explore the world, my way. i want someone to feel the love i have to give. (queenz, if i stole that from you, i'm sorry). i want knowledge beyond belief, i also want to read more books, mostly i just want everything that'll make me happy in some shape or form.

*this being done stuff, it's going to be a long road ahead, but i'll find my way there, no ones going to stop me, and no ones going to tell me otherwise, i know what i'm getting myself into, so please just let me be, this is in regard to school.

i'm not sure why i'm even doing this entry, i've read a couple random peoples blogspots, and they've all pretty much talk about they're thoughts and concerns, and i'm here reading what i wrote, and its mostly about me, to the readers out there, maybe i will find something juicy to write about? maybe when i'm on my lit tip. who knows? until then...

"let me be the one who can take you from all the things you see, and if you trust in me, i can be that through anything you need, and give it all to me baby, dont run from me baby"

On Sunday..

saturday, saturday, saturday.
it went by so fast, granted that i woke up @ 3pm.
coffee with aileeen, and movie with rachael.
benjamin button, great movie, long movie, but great!
then headed to LA for echo plex, soul jazz funk music.
i<333 break beats.

here's where sunday comes into play..
home 3am.
slept @ 6am.
woke up @ 7am
slept for 30 minutes.
woke up @730am.
total hours of sleep: 1hour30minutes.

i can' go back to sleeep.
i can't go back to sleep.
....i feel like i'm walking on someones thin ice
and i dont like it.
i'll get over it, maybe, maybe not.

it just fit for todays thoughts.

today's horoscope.

You may experience a decidedly awkward moment today when you realize that something you have been fighting for just isn't that important to you anymore. It's not that your opinion has changed; it's just that you have gained a broader perspective and can understand all sides of the issue. Nevertheless, don't be too accommodating. It's better to hold your position now than to try to regain it later on.

dumbdeedumbdeee

motherfucker`
i wish i could get into detail.
eh.

whadaawhaadaaa

becuz i can't sleep yet.

i'm tired.
i'm sore.
thank you halloween
thank you sportsman bar.
thank you drinks.
thank you weeed.
thank you FRIENDS.
thank you MUSIC
and MUCH THANKS to DANCING.
thank you RAIN and peaceful slumber.

not so thankful about the hangover @ 830am.
and not so thankful about walking around disneyland till about 5pm.
and an hour nap doesn't cut it for me either.
but i'm up @ 430am.
when its really 530am.

ouchie.
monday is the dayy.

thee end from the gibberish aspect.
gooooooooodnight.

closer

i'm stuck.

i'm not sure where the hell i belong, what the hell im doing, and what the fuck is happening.
but im here standing still, not expecting, not wishing, and not having any control, just standing.

thank you.

extravagante` weeek.

its almost 3am.
and im singing "here i am stuck in the middle with you".
not sure why, maybe it was in a commercial, but "here i am stuck in the middle with you"
hahahaha.

so with all the unexpected events that happen to go my wayy last week, i needed this weekend to have fun and spend time with my girls, and by golly, what an eventful close to a horrible week.

thank you darryll and arthur gonzales for throwing an awesome party on friday with awesome folks, good vibes, backyard fun, smoke out sessions, shotguns, shots, and a endless amount of beer.
i reconnected with a bunch of people i haven't seen in years, made some new friends, and had no worries to take care of anyone, twas a night of having a grand ole` time.

saturday, woke up still feeeling hella faded. spent time with my parents, and had lunch at my nanay's where i spent most of the time listening to them rant about the problems that exist in my grandparents house, i couldn't help but wanna cry when my grandma started to cry, boo.
that night, we had a girls only sleepover at anaheim, well duh what else would we talk about,
relationships, sex, drugs, and alcohol. i fell asleep peacefully at 6am.

sunday i slept all day.
i didnt' watch my tfc.
i slept, and slept.
till there was no more sleepin involved.

there you go, my weeekend.
nothing extravagante`
but fuck it, im tired.
i wanna get in depth with you all
but thats going to wait.
i spent too much time on a myspace bulletin.
hahahahahah, i'm lame.

goodweek folks`